


When It All Changed

by goandgetthegun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 02:03:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goandgetthegun/pseuds/goandgetthegun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Try as he might, Dean Winchester can’t remember when he started feeling the way he does about his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When It All Changed

Try as he might, Dean Winchester can’t remember when he started feeling the way he does about his brother. It’s just something that’s always been there you know? He’s always held Sam at a higher standard, above everyone else. From the moment he ran from a fire carrying a tiny Sammy in his arms, he’s always been Dean’s number one. Number one responsibility, number one priority, number one reason for living. 

He could tell you when he realized what he felt was though. People occasionally pointed out how over protective he was, how they were too close, how he wouldn’t leave Sam’s side if he could help it. It was normal for them though, all they knew. “Keep Sammy safe” had been drilled into his head enough growing up. When Dean was old enough to start dating girls seriously (as seriously as he could living in places for a few weeks or a few months at a time) he realized what he felt for them was nowhere near what he felt for Sam, and not in a normal ‘I love my family more than random girls’ way, but in a ‘I would rather be with Sam than with any girl’ kind of a way, and it scared the shit out out him.

Sam remembers when everything changed. When Dean stopped being affectionate toward him. Stopped putting his arm around Sam’s shoulder, stopped the playful wrestling, started walking with a few feet between them. When he pointed it out Dean would laugh it off and say things like ‘you’re not a baby anymore Sammy’ and Sam would let it be, but he knew something was wrong. He spent his whole life with Dean’s arm around him, and when Dean suddenly backed off, Sam felt more alone then he ever had.

He craved the physical contact he was used to. He would sit close to Dean and Dean would move. He tried sneaking into Dean’s bed saying he had a nightmare and he was too scared to sleep alone (at least the nightmare part was a lie) but Dean would push him away and tell him to get back in his own bed. He shared a bed with Dean his whole life, even when there was a spare, he felt at home at Dean’s side, he felt safe. The innocence between them was gone and Sam didn’t understand why.


End file.
